A lot of people - new coworkers, acquaintances, old friends, even some family members - have tried to start conversation by asking "what's it like to be back home?" or the very similar, "are you getting used to life in the states?"
Until very recently, I winced at the question.
What did people want me to say? I heard the very strong implication that I was supposed to say "It's so good to be home" implying that MI/USA alone is my home, that I disliked my time away, that it was easy to re-adjust, etc. I know most people are just making conversation, and really wanted a one or two word answer (kind of like when people ask, "how are you doing?" when they really don't care, they just need something to say after "hello").
But I don't have an easy answer. At least, not one that most people want to hear.
I wanted to scream and shout and rail against the U.S. ethnocentrism that made it difficult for Americans to understand anyone or anyplace else. I wanted to explain how I had left behind some of my very best friends. I wanted to complain about the hassle of moving with suitcases and trucks. I wanted to wax poetic about the culture of Mexico.
I wanted to do a lot of things, but I normally mumbled something like "oh, it's ok" and desperately tried not to cry.
Now, with some wise counsel, I'm ready to own my answer.
"Even though it was time to leave, I wasn't ready. We loved Mexico, and it will always be a part of our hearts. I hope you get a chance to enjoy it someday like we did."
I might cry the first thousand times I repeat it, but I can do it. I can tell people. I can accept if they nod and walk away, but I'm hoping that person after person after person will ask why I loved Mexico so much, and where they should visit, and what part will be the hardest to leave behind.
Because I want to shout loud and clear that I love Mexico, I love the people, I love the culture, I love the food. I think everyone should try to understand immigration before they make a judgment call. I think everyone should eat real tacos. I think everyone should visit Mexico - if even once in their lives - without visiting a beach or going on a mission trip. Just enjoy it like you would enjoy Paris or Cairo or Tokyo or New York City. And then come home and tell someone else.
2 comments:
Kelly--I am so glad that you and Dave had the opportunity to live in Mexico. You certainly made the most of your experience by traveling and seeing all the sites you could. I can understand why it was difficult to leave it behind. I am so envious of the travel that you have been able to do. Maybe someday... most likely I will have to live out my fantasy of traveling the world through you.
When I ask about your travels, your time in Mexico I genuinely care. We tried the tacos around the corner from us and they were the way you have described authentic ones. They were great! Keep on writing, love to read your blog.
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oh yes, I think people ask questions like that because they don't know what else to say. People say things all the time that they don't realize are sensitive questions, they are just interested and don't know what else to ask. No one means to ask a hurtful question. At least I don't :)
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