So, my sister-in-law asked me today, "what's surprised you most about Mexico?"
Very intriguing question.
1. how very nice the people are. Latinos who come to the US, whether to visit or to live, are basically met with total contempt. Not from everyone, but plenty of "americans" scoff at their accent, their style, their skin color, etc. Few of us will go out of our way to help them, no matter how lost they are. While we are constanly under scrutiny in Mexico (everyone stares at us when we talk, when we walk by even) almost everyone is nice to us. They'll slow down their spanish, use "sign" language, and even try to talk in English. They smile, and politely show or explain things we don't understand. We absolutely fell in love with Mexico because of the people.
2. How comfortable we are there. Yes, the weather is nice, and so are the people, but mainly the lifestyle is great. We can be 15 minutes late, routinely, and it's not a life crisis. We can still shop at Costco, and at the mall, and not come home broke. We can eat fresh mangoes and advocados every day if we want. We have our house and our car cleaned weekly, and we don't even have to pump our own gas.
But the most intriguing thing -
3. Our perception of money has changed. Americans are all about how much stuff we can get for out dollar. Black friday exemplifies that attitude. (a free mp3 player? a $200 laptop? $10 casmere sweater?) We don't really care if that stuff was made in a foreign country by lax standards or if a teenager was up at 3am to sell it to us or if it's even something we actually need. We just want it bc we can have it. Mexicans are not about stuff. They're about lifestyle. They own a cashmere sweater bc that sweater is better than a cable sweater. They pay to have their car cleaned every week bc taking care of something is part of the price. They'd rather have a clean home than a cluttered home, so they spend money each week on a housekeeper rather than on chinese-made homegoods. Overall, they consider it their personal responsibility to work for their money, and that once they have earned that money to spend it responsibility. That means no credit card debt, low house and car debt, no student loans. It means paying people to do service jobs for you rather than hand out welfare. It means that empowering your neighbor is a better use of your funds than empowering an indian slaveworker. Hopefully we can embrace a saner attitude towards money when we return.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
first impressions
ok, so this didn't really happen to me. It's really Dave's story. But I'm stealing it.
This week, Dave was elected "baby-sitter"/ host to a small group of North Americans coming to Toluca for a business trip at Nissan. Basically, the North Americans are so annoying that the Mexicans got sick of taking care of them and elected Dave to do it. Plus, Dave's the boss, so he gets to do dirty jobs like that. His responsibilities included:
1. borrow minivan from Nissan and pick up co-workers at airport, drive them to and from work, hotel, restaurants, and all other locations necessary so that they don't have to spend any time in a bus or a taxi.
2. Provide lots of exposure to "mexican" food, like tequila and tacos. Also ensure that all food and beverages will not cause illness.
3. Translate everything bc they literally couldn't order at Taco Bell if you paid them a million pesos.
But on the way back to the airport, after spending 4 days in Mexico, the silent American finally speaks up, as if he has something he's really been wanting to say and finally worked up the nerve to say it:
"Dave, Mexico's basically a s***hole"
Nice.
We've heard comments like this before, normally more polite, kinda mentioned after the american in question has been here for a while and hasn't heard our complaints, so finally realizes that they may have to give us an opening in the conversation to say our "true" feelings. They are always surprised that we truly don't agree with them.
I feel safer walking downtown toluca at night than I would walking downtown Flint. Detroit, with it's burnt out boarded up houses and street homeless, is dirtier and junkier than most of Mexico City. Rural America is full of people living in drafty trailers with beat-up pickup trucks. But most Americans who aren't poor can avoid the poverty of America, and forget that it's there.
Sure, mexico has more poverty than the US, but they have less homeless. Everyone here has a family, or a friend, or a little shack. When huge swaths of the country are surviving on beans and tortillas, it doesn't seem so embarassing to admit. And rich Mexicans, of which there are plenty, live like rich North Americans - in all ways but one. They shop at Costco, send their kids to private schools, listen to their Ipods, take vacations to cancun. But they don't avoid poverty. They live right next to it. They embrace it - not as someone else's problem, or a "cause" that they can help. But rich mexicans know that but for the grace of god, they would be living in a shack, too. And so they embrace poverty as a group problem. Letting your neighbor live like that is like giving your son a snake when he asks for bread (is that in the bible?). So they're much more likely to share their bounty with others - buying something from a street vendor, hiring a housekeeper, donating to charities, etc.
Thankfully, Dave's a man of actions, not words. bc the nice lecture I just gave would have been lost on his co-worker. Instead, Dave smiled to himself, and took a "detour" through Mexico City. (They guys had no idea) They drove by the embassies, the statue of independence, chapultepec park, and the neighborhoods of polanco and reforma - past multimillion dollar gated homes, before stopping at a starbucks in the car dealer neighborhood - BMW, Volvo, Hummer, & Bently can be seen from the starbucks patio - where every employee speaks perfectly un-accented English.
Sipping their $6 lattes back in the van, the guy(s) admitted:
"Well, this part of town isn't too bad."
yep, we thought so, too.
This week, Dave was elected "baby-sitter"/ host to a small group of North Americans coming to Toluca for a business trip at Nissan. Basically, the North Americans are so annoying that the Mexicans got sick of taking care of them and elected Dave to do it. Plus, Dave's the boss, so he gets to do dirty jobs like that. His responsibilities included:
1. borrow minivan from Nissan and pick up co-workers at airport, drive them to and from work, hotel, restaurants, and all other locations necessary so that they don't have to spend any time in a bus or a taxi.
2. Provide lots of exposure to "mexican" food, like tequila and tacos. Also ensure that all food and beverages will not cause illness.
3. Translate everything bc they literally couldn't order at Taco Bell if you paid them a million pesos.
But on the way back to the airport, after spending 4 days in Mexico, the silent American finally speaks up, as if he has something he's really been wanting to say and finally worked up the nerve to say it:
"Dave, Mexico's basically a s***hole"
Nice.
We've heard comments like this before, normally more polite, kinda mentioned after the american in question has been here for a while and hasn't heard our complaints, so finally realizes that they may have to give us an opening in the conversation to say our "true" feelings. They are always surprised that we truly don't agree with them.
I feel safer walking downtown toluca at night than I would walking downtown Flint. Detroit, with it's burnt out boarded up houses and street homeless, is dirtier and junkier than most of Mexico City. Rural America is full of people living in drafty trailers with beat-up pickup trucks. But most Americans who aren't poor can avoid the poverty of America, and forget that it's there.
Sure, mexico has more poverty than the US, but they have less homeless. Everyone here has a family, or a friend, or a little shack. When huge swaths of the country are surviving on beans and tortillas, it doesn't seem so embarassing to admit. And rich Mexicans, of which there are plenty, live like rich North Americans - in all ways but one. They shop at Costco, send their kids to private schools, listen to their Ipods, take vacations to cancun. But they don't avoid poverty. They live right next to it. They embrace it - not as someone else's problem, or a "cause" that they can help. But rich mexicans know that but for the grace of god, they would be living in a shack, too. And so they embrace poverty as a group problem. Letting your neighbor live like that is like giving your son a snake when he asks for bread (is that in the bible?). So they're much more likely to share their bounty with others - buying something from a street vendor, hiring a housekeeper, donating to charities, etc.
Thankfully, Dave's a man of actions, not words. bc the nice lecture I just gave would have been lost on his co-worker. Instead, Dave smiled to himself, and took a "detour" through Mexico City. (They guys had no idea) They drove by the embassies, the statue of independence, chapultepec park, and the neighborhoods of polanco and reforma - past multimillion dollar gated homes, before stopping at a starbucks in the car dealer neighborhood - BMW, Volvo, Hummer, & Bently can be seen from the starbucks patio - where every employee speaks perfectly un-accented English.
Sipping their $6 lattes back in the van, the guy(s) admitted:
"Well, this part of town isn't too bad."
yep, we thought so, too.
Friday, November 21, 2008
whoo-hoo!
I went out to dinner last night with Dave & some of his co-workers: 2 mexicans and 3 americans. (the americans are really annoying, so dave got nominated to baby-sit them) After hearing me talk with the waiter, the two mexicans exchanged a look and then told me my accent is much better! And so is my spanish! Whoo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very thrilled.
(a few months ago, I was constantly being mocked for sounding spanish, or argintinian, or french. Ah. Now I'm just a pathetic american trying her best. Much more authentic.)
(a few months ago, I was constantly being mocked for sounding spanish, or argintinian, or french. Ah. Now I'm just a pathetic american trying her best. Much more authentic.)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
language
Every language has its idiosyncracies, which make it really interesting, and which help a culture to define its own point of view.
Examples:
In English, we "get" a lot of things, supposedly by fate or God's will or something, bc our phrases don't make it sound like it's our fault at all:
"get pregnant" "get sick" "get in an accident" "get fat" "get a good night's sleep"
On the other hand, English does often make us take responsibility for our own actions, even if they're not our fault:
"I lost my keys" "I forgot my homework" "I broke my legs in the accident"
In Spanish, they have an entire grammatical form dedicated to avoiding responsibility (this is the basic Eng. translation of some common phrases):
"The keys lost me" "The homework got left behind" "the legs got broken in the accident"
So imagine my surprise to learn today that some of the phrases that in English imply certain things aren't my fault, are definitely my fault in Spanish:
"I've fattened myself" "I sicked myself" "I pregnanted myself"
So aparently, in Spanish, it's not my fault if I drop the donut, or forget the donuts, but if I eat the donuts & gain weight - that's definitely all my fault!
Examples:
In English, we "get" a lot of things, supposedly by fate or God's will or something, bc our phrases don't make it sound like it's our fault at all:
"get pregnant" "get sick" "get in an accident" "get fat" "get a good night's sleep"
On the other hand, English does often make us take responsibility for our own actions, even if they're not our fault:
"I lost my keys" "I forgot my homework" "I broke my legs in the accident"
In Spanish, they have an entire grammatical form dedicated to avoiding responsibility (this is the basic Eng. translation of some common phrases):
"The keys lost me" "The homework got left behind" "the legs got broken in the accident"
So imagine my surprise to learn today that some of the phrases that in English imply certain things aren't my fault, are definitely my fault in Spanish:
"I've fattened myself" "I sicked myself" "I pregnanted myself"
So aparently, in Spanish, it's not my fault if I drop the donut, or forget the donuts, but if I eat the donuts & gain weight - that's definitely all my fault!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Christmas Shopping
We've been following MI news ardently the last few weeks, trying to see what will happen with the auto industry. I was actually interviewed for a story on NPR (really exciting!) but wasn't quoted in the final story. No matter what happens, we're pretty sure the economy, in MI anyway, will get worse before it gets better.
So we were talking - will the Black Friday shopping be bigger or smaller than normal? Will people buy less bc they have a smaller budget? Or will the lines be longer bc the sales are bigger? Will there be more sales? Or will the sales be less intriguing, due to the sales that are already happening?
Either way - we're ready. We'll be in line at 4am, waving pesos & dollars, ready to gorge ourselves on good ol' fashioned US consumerism.
So we were talking - will the Black Friday shopping be bigger or smaller than normal? Will people buy less bc they have a smaller budget? Or will the lines be longer bc the sales are bigger? Will there be more sales? Or will the sales be less intriguing, due to the sales that are already happening?
Either way - we're ready. We'll be in line at 4am, waving pesos & dollars, ready to gorge ourselves on good ol' fashioned US consumerism.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Home Sweet Home
The cold air hit me as soon as I stepped off the plane. Yes, the chilly gust felt like MI, but it also smelled like MI. Like brown leaves and wet dirt. Like cars running and hamburgers grilling. Ahhhh.
It's been too long since I'd been home - over 4 months.
It was strange to overhear and understand nearly all the conversations around me. In fact, it was kind of annoying how loudly some people were talking. I hadn't realized, until then, how much background noise my brain had simply been ignoring. It was strange to sit and stand next to people without striking up a small talk conversation. In fact, it was kind of annoying how rude some yankees are! I mean, I could finally carry on my half of the conversation without sounding infantile, and no one wanted to talk with me! It was strange to have space between cars and enough time to accellerate. It was strange to turn on the radio and understand what was being said. It was wierd to see someone else's stuff in my bathroom, and in my fridge.
It was striking how much I'd missed. I didn't know all the songs on the radio or all the ads on the side of the road. I hadn't realized all the leaves were off the trees and on the ground. I'd missed election chit-chat and halloween candy. We'd collected mail from July; messages that no longer really applied.
But mostly, it was great. It was great to see my kids and give them hugs and take their pictures and laugh at their jokes. Even though it was hard to see them do a play without my help, it was kinda great to see (at least imho) how much we had made a difference in the drama department and a few kids' lives. It was great to see my family's faces and their new houses. It was great to give giant hugs and really meet my new niece. It was fantastic to collect new library books and new clothes and more makeup and pickles and hairspray and supplies for the library and canned pumpkin.
And it was very strange to come home again, to say good-bye again, to call this country, this house "home". It was wierd to sleep alone on the plane and think again about lesson plans and worry about traffic.
The vacation was too short, but I'm still glad I went. It's hard to see what I'm missing, but also great to remind myself of what I have to return to.
It's been too long since I'd been home - over 4 months.
It was strange to overhear and understand nearly all the conversations around me. In fact, it was kind of annoying how loudly some people were talking. I hadn't realized, until then, how much background noise my brain had simply been ignoring. It was strange to sit and stand next to people without striking up a small talk conversation. In fact, it was kind of annoying how rude some yankees are! I mean, I could finally carry on my half of the conversation without sounding infantile, and no one wanted to talk with me! It was strange to have space between cars and enough time to accellerate. It was strange to turn on the radio and understand what was being said. It was wierd to see someone else's stuff in my bathroom, and in my fridge.
It was striking how much I'd missed. I didn't know all the songs on the radio or all the ads on the side of the road. I hadn't realized all the leaves were off the trees and on the ground. I'd missed election chit-chat and halloween candy. We'd collected mail from July; messages that no longer really applied.
But mostly, it was great. It was great to see my kids and give them hugs and take their pictures and laugh at their jokes. Even though it was hard to see them do a play without my help, it was kinda great to see (at least imho) how much we had made a difference in the drama department and a few kids' lives. It was great to see my family's faces and their new houses. It was great to give giant hugs and really meet my new niece. It was fantastic to collect new library books and new clothes and more makeup and pickles and hairspray and supplies for the library and canned pumpkin.
And it was very strange to come home again, to say good-bye again, to call this country, this house "home". It was wierd to sleep alone on the plane and think again about lesson plans and worry about traffic.
The vacation was too short, but I'm still glad I went. It's hard to see what I'm missing, but also great to remind myself of what I have to return to.
Proud to be an American
Last week was the election, and we got to go to an amazing party downtown, sponsored by the embassy. It was non-political, officially, and there did seem to be people there who supported both major candidates. I was actually surprised at how many Mexicans were there! Aparantly, there is great interest in the US election process, not only the final candidate (at least among college-educated mexicans.)
In Mexico, every citizen has a national ID card, that is used to prove citizenship and voter identification. All mexicans must carry this at all times, and must present it when asked. They can use this to get on domestic flights, to get a job, to register legal documets, etc. This is NOT a driver's license, and citizens can take this card with them, even if they move from state to state. Thus, all of the federal elections are run by the federal government and anyone can vote anywhere in the country as long as they show their voter ID card. This allows people to vote near work or home, or even on vacation. And, the federal elections are basically just popular votes - whoever gets the most votes wins.
Compare this to the US elections - 18 mo. ago we had nearly 20 major candidates, who duked it out for superiority within their own party. Then, we had 6 mo. of fighting between two major candidates. The winner was the one who most effectively "got out the vote". Thousands of absentee voter ballots were not counted. Up to 25% of US citizens who tried to vote had trouble doing so bc they could not provide acurate ID to match their name on the voter rolls. People stood in line for hours, despite a polling center blocks away that may have had no line.
Don't even get me started on the electoral college!
In the end, though, I was shouting "Yes, We Can! Si, se puede!" at the top of my lungs and humming "God Bless the USA" for a few days.
In Mexico, every citizen has a national ID card, that is used to prove citizenship and voter identification. All mexicans must carry this at all times, and must present it when asked. They can use this to get on domestic flights, to get a job, to register legal documets, etc. This is NOT a driver's license, and citizens can take this card with them, even if they move from state to state. Thus, all of the federal elections are run by the federal government and anyone can vote anywhere in the country as long as they show their voter ID card. This allows people to vote near work or home, or even on vacation. And, the federal elections are basically just popular votes - whoever gets the most votes wins.
Compare this to the US elections - 18 mo. ago we had nearly 20 major candidates, who duked it out for superiority within their own party. Then, we had 6 mo. of fighting between two major candidates. The winner was the one who most effectively "got out the vote". Thousands of absentee voter ballots were not counted. Up to 25% of US citizens who tried to vote had trouble doing so bc they could not provide acurate ID to match their name on the voter rolls. People stood in line for hours, despite a polling center blocks away that may have had no line.
Don't even get me started on the electoral college!
In the end, though, I was shouting "Yes, We Can! Si, se puede!" at the top of my lungs and humming "God Bless the USA" for a few days.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
update
yeah, so we're up to 3 people who've asked me if I'm pregnant. The main reasons this is a concern (again, couldn't make this up if I tried):
I've been sick for a week with flu-like symptoms
I'm wearing clothes that are loose around my abdomen
I'm married
I'm 27
No joke, these are the only reasons.
My attempt to diffuse the questions has aparantly also led to the belief that I can't have children, i.e. either Dave or I are infertile. And my refusal to be on any sort of prayer list for this is causing great concern.
Oh, my.
I've been sick for a week with flu-like symptoms
I'm wearing clothes that are loose around my abdomen
I'm married
I'm 27
No joke, these are the only reasons.
My attempt to diffuse the questions has aparantly also led to the belief that I can't have children, i.e. either Dave or I are infertile. And my refusal to be on any sort of prayer list for this is causing great concern.
Oh, my.
Embassy
I sort of had the idea that while we were living abroad, any and all issues I had could be solved by the embassy. Maybe only as quickly and efficiently as back home (which, granted, is neither quick nor efficient), but still.
Nope.
A comedy of errors meant that our paper ballots were in danger of not making it back to the states on time. (We did fill out a federal write-in ballot, specifically created to close the loopholes that make it so hard for overseas voters to vote.) So, last week I was driving, frantically, to the embassy, to try and get the ballots into the official US mail system. After two hours of driving, getting lost, getting turned around, finding a parking space, walking 1/4 mile, and staring down a few security guards, I find out that the embassy closes at 5:30. There is no possible way for me to get those ballots into the building. I can't enter, and bc it's a federal crime for anyone else to even touch my ballot, no one who works there will volunteer to take it in for me.
No joke.
The entire block was heavily secured. I probably could have illegally stopped my car in the middle of the street, left the keys in the ignition, with the door wide open and my wallet on the seat, carrying my cell phone and saunter naked up to the embassy doors, and I would have been safe. No one would have dared to touch me. But I couldn't get into my own embassy after hours.
So let me get this straight - the embassy is open during business hours? They can only help me if I have an emergency between 9:30 am and 5:30 pm M-F, excluding US and MX bank holidays? What if I get mugged? kidnapped? raped? falsely arrested? These are not unusual circumstances for Americans in Mexico (very rare in the area we live, though, don't worry!) but I'm aparantly supposed to wait until business hours to get some help.
God Bless the USA.
Nope.
A comedy of errors meant that our paper ballots were in danger of not making it back to the states on time. (We did fill out a federal write-in ballot, specifically created to close the loopholes that make it so hard for overseas voters to vote.) So, last week I was driving, frantically, to the embassy, to try and get the ballots into the official US mail system. After two hours of driving, getting lost, getting turned around, finding a parking space, walking 1/4 mile, and staring down a few security guards, I find out that the embassy closes at 5:30. There is no possible way for me to get those ballots into the building. I can't enter, and bc it's a federal crime for anyone else to even touch my ballot, no one who works there will volunteer to take it in for me.
No joke.
The entire block was heavily secured. I probably could have illegally stopped my car in the middle of the street, left the keys in the ignition, with the door wide open and my wallet on the seat, carrying my cell phone and saunter naked up to the embassy doors, and I would have been safe. No one would have dared to touch me. But I couldn't get into my own embassy after hours.
So let me get this straight - the embassy is open during business hours? They can only help me if I have an emergency between 9:30 am and 5:30 pm M-F, excluding US and MX bank holidays? What if I get mugged? kidnapped? raped? falsely arrested? These are not unusual circumstances for Americans in Mexico (very rare in the area we live, though, don't worry!) but I'm aparantly supposed to wait until business hours to get some help.
God Bless the USA.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Nissan Comments
We get a lot of comments about Nissan. Mainly, bc small talk always involves why we are here, in Mexico, which of course is bc of Nissan. But also, bc Nissan is the number 2 car company here in MX, so we're about as popular as if Germans came to Detroit to work for BMW or something.
The following are all real comments. Again, I couldn't make this up if I tried.
"I like Nissans. I never feel like I'm about to be kidnapped when I'm driving one" - said by a little old lady at church.
"You let her take your car??!!" - asked incredulously by Dave's coworkers (it's very against latino machismo to loan your car to your woman - but not nearly as bad as loaning either your woman or your car to someone else...)
"I'm not sure you should be driving such a big car" - told to me in Spanish, and in English, about our Nissan Altima, which is aparantly more than this lil' lady can handle.
"The car you're driving now is a lot nicer than the cars you tell us stories about, Ms. Kelly" - from a student after hearing about the cars I drove in HS & college
"Don't worry - I'll have another small used one when I go home" I assured him
The following are all real comments. Again, I couldn't make this up if I tried.
"I like Nissans. I never feel like I'm about to be kidnapped when I'm driving one" - said by a little old lady at church.
"You let her take your car??!!" - asked incredulously by Dave's coworkers (it's very against latino machismo to loan your car to your woman - but not nearly as bad as loaning either your woman or your car to someone else...)
"I'm not sure you should be driving such a big car" - told to me in Spanish, and in English, about our Nissan Altima, which is aparantly more than this lil' lady can handle.
"The car you're driving now is a lot nicer than the cars you tell us stories about, Ms. Kelly" - from a student after hearing about the cars I drove in HS & college
"Don't worry - I'll have another small used one when I go home" I assured him
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Real Sick Day
This week, I really was sick. As in, I slept on the bathroom floor Monday night. And I didn't walk more than 5 feet all day Tuesday. And I didn't eat any substantial food until Friday morning. Argh.
Bonus - I did lose 5 pounds in 36 hours. Which means that I need the stomach flu before any major event where I need to wear a nice dress.
Unfortunately, 2 sick days in 2 weeks caused some gossip at work. Which really shocked me. I'm living in a country where most Americans are afraid to drink the water, not to mention actually LIVE here, eating and drinking multiple times each day. So one would think that a little illness would be believable, even acceptable. Oh, no, I was SO wrong!
I had forgotten two things:
1. Mexicans ask really personal questions.
2. Good baptist women are supposed to have as many babies as possible, as soon as possible.
Neither of these things was in the front of my mind on Wednesday, when I was definitely still too sick to work, but too bored to stay home. So, imagine my surprise at the copy machine when a fellow teacher - the director's wife - asks me, none too softly:
"Since you're married, could you be pregnant?"
OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT JUST ASK ME THAT QUESTION!
It was a good thing I was sick. My mind was too ill to remember what horrors I would normally explode onto a person who asked me that question.
"Um, no." i was hoping to answer with more suave grace, but oh, well. "not at all"
Instead of apologizing, letting the question drop, sharing sympathy for my stomach flu, or anything else nice, she continues with not one, not two, but THREE more stories:
- a slightly modified explation of the birds& the bees, accounting for my possible ignorance of the effects of antibiotics on birth control's effectiveness
- a story about her one infertile friend who cried each time she got her period for years but then "miraculously" got pregnant
and finally,
- a detailed description of her own high-risk pregnancy, including medical interventions that may be impossible to receive in a developing country.
I COULD NOT MAKE THIS UP IF I TRIED!
Not only did she imply that I did not understand my own medical history, but also that I may not understand the basic concepts of reproduction after nearly 5 years of marriage. Not only did she consider the fact that I may be infertile, but wanted to bring this up in front of another teacher and then imply that a miracle could happen at any time. Not only did she share a pregnancy story with a woman who just explained that she's NOT pregnant, but she insisted on highlighting everything that could go wrong with a pregnancy, just in case I wasn't worried about that while living abroad.
Nice.
Bonus - I did lose 5 pounds in 36 hours. Which means that I need the stomach flu before any major event where I need to wear a nice dress.
Unfortunately, 2 sick days in 2 weeks caused some gossip at work. Which really shocked me. I'm living in a country where most Americans are afraid to drink the water, not to mention actually LIVE here, eating and drinking multiple times each day. So one would think that a little illness would be believable, even acceptable. Oh, no, I was SO wrong!
I had forgotten two things:
1. Mexicans ask really personal questions.
2. Good baptist women are supposed to have as many babies as possible, as soon as possible.
Neither of these things was in the front of my mind on Wednesday, when I was definitely still too sick to work, but too bored to stay home. So, imagine my surprise at the copy machine when a fellow teacher - the director's wife - asks me, none too softly:
"Since you're married, could you be pregnant?"
OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT JUST ASK ME THAT QUESTION!
It was a good thing I was sick. My mind was too ill to remember what horrors I would normally explode onto a person who asked me that question.
"Um, no." i was hoping to answer with more suave grace, but oh, well. "not at all"
Instead of apologizing, letting the question drop, sharing sympathy for my stomach flu, or anything else nice, she continues with not one, not two, but THREE more stories:
- a slightly modified explation of the birds& the bees, accounting for my possible ignorance of the effects of antibiotics on birth control's effectiveness
- a story about her one infertile friend who cried each time she got her period for years but then "miraculously" got pregnant
and finally,
- a detailed description of her own high-risk pregnancy, including medical interventions that may be impossible to receive in a developing country.
I COULD NOT MAKE THIS UP IF I TRIED!
Not only did she imply that I did not understand my own medical history, but also that I may not understand the basic concepts of reproduction after nearly 5 years of marriage. Not only did she consider the fact that I may be infertile, but wanted to bring this up in front of another teacher and then imply that a miracle could happen at any time. Not only did she share a pregnancy story with a woman who just explained that she's NOT pregnant, but she insisted on highlighting everything that could go wrong with a pregnancy, just in case I wasn't worried about that while living abroad.
Nice.
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