Everything looked normal. But it didn't take long for me to process the truth - my stuff has been taken. Someone came into my house while I was at work, and a lot of my things are missing. As I look around, I see empty book shelves, empty cabinets, empty closets.
I have been violated.
And not entirely without my permission.
This morning, instead of helping my husband direct movers and sort through items and double check our packing list and try to awkwardly dust, I chose to avoid the entire situation by escaping to work. Weeks of procrastination and avoidance culminated in the moment of my arrival home this afternoon. Half of me has been working hard to prepare for the move: buying items we needed, whether or not they were approved by customs, and setting them aside for the movers to take. But half of me was not preparing. Half of me was reading books and grading papers instead of sorting through my classroom supplies. Half of me was buying new clothes instead of sorting through what clothes I needed to take. Half of me was visiting with friends & relatives rather than try to find a renter.
Half of me is ready to leave.
Half of me is not.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Lilacs & hummus
We got to spend last Sat. afternoon with some of our new Mexican friends. Whenever I say that it sounds really ignorant & biased, but they really are Mexicans! One of Dave's Mexican co-workers is in MI on a business trip, just like Dave, and another one is coming soon. And, there's a Mexican Nissan employee who is here for 2 years, with his new wife. They're basically living the opposite of us - they're from Mexico on a 2-yr. business trip to the US. Cecilia is really struggling with the same concerns I had about going to Mexico: she had to quit her job to come here, and now she is really bored and really struggling with the language and really missing her friends & family back home. It felt good to know that my concerns aren't really all that weird!
We took them out for Mediterranean food, a very local specialty. They loved falafel & hummus & tabbouleh & shish kafta, even if they couldn't pronounce any of it :) We have really looked for Mediterranean food in Toluca, but the only place we can find it is at Costco ;) really wild!
Cecilia loved the lilac flowers. Lilacs are totally local; there aren't any in Mexico. They were out in full force this weekend, and she was ready to take some home with he
BTW - my Spanish name when I was in high school Spanish was Cecilia. Ah, the irony.
We took them out for Mediterranean food, a very local specialty. They loved falafel & hummus & tabbouleh & shish kafta, even if they couldn't pronounce any of it :) We have really looked for Mediterranean food in Toluca, but the only place we can find it is at Costco ;) really wild!
Cecilia loved the lilac flowers. Lilacs are totally local; there aren't any in Mexico. They were out in full force this weekend, and she was ready to take some home with he
BTW - my Spanish name when I was in high school Spanish was Cecilia. Ah, the irony.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Jesus on a Bicycle
I can't ride a bike. Which is really embarrassing for two reasons:
1. Papa taught me how to ride. We had a really great dad&daughter moment when I was in kindergarten & I learned how to ride a super cool green bike with streamers, which I continued to ride until I was about 8.
2. Everyone can ride a bike.
Even though I hadn't rode in years, I kind of assumed I could always just pick up a bike and start riding again. That's where the phrase "just like riding a bicycle" comes from right? So imagine my surprise, at 21, when a friend & I rent bikes in Rome to visit the Vatican. We had barely started when I ran into a cafe table, crashing the glasses & dumping a carafe of wine! In a matter of minutes I had ran into a nun, set off a BMW car alarm, run into a brick wall, and nearly fell into a sewer ditch before we realized that we needed to take the bikes back. :) How embarrassing!
Now that we live in Ann Arbor, lots of people ride bikes. In fact, I don't think I can have kids until & unless I'm prepared to ride around with them to pick up ice cream or Starbucks or something. So now I want to re-learn. Just in case I ever need to get somewhere, and all that's available is a bicycle!
In some ways, our Christian faith can be like riding a bike. We do it as a kid & then put it on a shelf somewhere, fully intending to pick it up whenever we're desperate or when we have kids ourselves. It never really occurs to us that faith is something we do, something we practice, something we need to keep doing in order to keep knowing how to do it!
Then I found this story on http://www.activatedministries.org/activated/47.554:
When I met Jesus, life became rather like a bike ride. It was a tandem bike; I rode in the front and steered, and Jesus was in the rear seat, helping to pedal.
I don't remember just when it happened, but Jesus suggested we change places. Life hasn't been the same since. Jesus makes the ride so exciting!
When I had control, I knew the way. It was safe and predictable, but rather boring--always the shortest distance between two points. But when Jesus got in the driver's seat, He knew delightful "long cuts" up mountain roads and down again at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hold on!
I didn't want to question His judgment, but once I couldn't help myself. "Don't You think we should slow down just a little? I'm scared." He turned and smiled and touched my hand and said, "It's okay. Pedal."
Sometimes I got worried and anxious and asked, "Where are You taking me?"
I am learning to not worry or want to get back in control, but just to relax and enjoy the view.
"It's a surprise," He would say with a laugh. Gradually I learned to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered the adventure.
He took me to meet people with gifts that I needed--gifts of love, healing, acceptance, joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey--our journey, my Lord's and mine--and we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away." So I did, to other people we met. But the strangest thing happened. I found that the more of those things I gave away, the more I had for myself and to give to other people we met along the way. And still our load was light.
At first I didn't trust Jesus to be in control of my life. I thought He would wreck it. But He knows the bike's capabilities and limits, and all sorts of tricks. He knows how to take sharp corners at high speeds, make the bike "jump" to clear rocks in our way, and He can even make it fly when the road disappears beneath us.
I am learning to not worry or want to get back in control, but just to relax and enjoy the view, the cool breeze on my face, and the delightful company of my constant companion, Jesus.
I still get tired sometimes because it is a long, hard ride, but Jesus just smiles and says, "Pedal."
I want to be in the front of the bike, listening to Jesus' whispered directions from the back. But a Christian life isn't like that. My life is more like a wild ride on the back of the bike. I am so thankful for the journey so far.
As I travel to Mexico for the next part of the bike ride, I will miss those whom I am riding with now. But I am looking forward to new people I will meet.
1. Papa taught me how to ride. We had a really great dad&daughter moment when I was in kindergarten & I learned how to ride a super cool green bike with streamers, which I continued to ride until I was about 8.
2. Everyone can ride a bike.
Even though I hadn't rode in years, I kind of assumed I could always just pick up a bike and start riding again. That's where the phrase "just like riding a bicycle" comes from right? So imagine my surprise, at 21, when a friend & I rent bikes in Rome to visit the Vatican. We had barely started when I ran into a cafe table, crashing the glasses & dumping a carafe of wine! In a matter of minutes I had ran into a nun, set off a BMW car alarm, run into a brick wall, and nearly fell into a sewer ditch before we realized that we needed to take the bikes back. :) How embarrassing!
Now that we live in Ann Arbor, lots of people ride bikes. In fact, I don't think I can have kids until & unless I'm prepared to ride around with them to pick up ice cream or Starbucks or something. So now I want to re-learn. Just in case I ever need to get somewhere, and all that's available is a bicycle!
In some ways, our Christian faith can be like riding a bike. We do it as a kid & then put it on a shelf somewhere, fully intending to pick it up whenever we're desperate or when we have kids ourselves. It never really occurs to us that faith is something we do, something we practice, something we need to keep doing in order to keep knowing how to do it!
Then I found this story on http://www.activatedministries.org/activated/47.554:
When I met Jesus, life became rather like a bike ride. It was a tandem bike; I rode in the front and steered, and Jesus was in the rear seat, helping to pedal.
I don't remember just when it happened, but Jesus suggested we change places. Life hasn't been the same since. Jesus makes the ride so exciting!
When I had control, I knew the way. It was safe and predictable, but rather boring--always the shortest distance between two points. But when Jesus got in the driver's seat, He knew delightful "long cuts" up mountain roads and down again at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hold on!
I didn't want to question His judgment, but once I couldn't help myself. "Don't You think we should slow down just a little? I'm scared." He turned and smiled and touched my hand and said, "It's okay. Pedal."
Sometimes I got worried and anxious and asked, "Where are You taking me?"
I am learning to not worry or want to get back in control, but just to relax and enjoy the view.
"It's a surprise," He would say with a laugh. Gradually I learned to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered the adventure.
He took me to meet people with gifts that I needed--gifts of love, healing, acceptance, joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey--our journey, my Lord's and mine--and we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away." So I did, to other people we met. But the strangest thing happened. I found that the more of those things I gave away, the more I had for myself and to give to other people we met along the way. And still our load was light.
At first I didn't trust Jesus to be in control of my life. I thought He would wreck it. But He knows the bike's capabilities and limits, and all sorts of tricks. He knows how to take sharp corners at high speeds, make the bike "jump" to clear rocks in our way, and He can even make it fly when the road disappears beneath us.
I am learning to not worry or want to get back in control, but just to relax and enjoy the view, the cool breeze on my face, and the delightful company of my constant companion, Jesus.
I still get tired sometimes because it is a long, hard ride, but Jesus just smiles and says, "Pedal."
I want to be in the front of the bike, listening to Jesus' whispered directions from the back. But a Christian life isn't like that. My life is more like a wild ride on the back of the bike. I am so thankful for the journey so far.
As I travel to Mexico for the next part of the bike ride, I will miss those whom I am riding with now. But I am looking forward to new people I will meet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)